Psychostick – BEER!

ike 8:59 am

Amazing Invention – Corkscrew

ike 2:44 pm

Never fumble around trying to open a bottle of wine ever again!

Watch. MEN.

gfv 10:37 am

Ok, so this isn’t exactly belated, but I thought I’d better inform KCD readers what they’re in for if they choose to see the much-talked about superhero graphic novel adaptation Watchmen. All I can say is the title is certainly accurate – what you will be watching is men. Ambiguously gay (or not so ambiguous) and usually naked. The 300 meets Sin City may sound good on paper, but it makes for an inconsistent style, boring script and super gay homoerotic undertones. Not to mention the movie is three hours long. Dr. Manhattan (the glowing blue guy) is naked throughout the whole movie and can make himself the size of giant buildings. Believe me, I did not need to see that much giant blue cock. No one needs that. No one.

Caddy Shack

ike 4:12 pm

700 E 3rd St
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 421-4742

You will never meet the real Carl Spackler here, but several of the regular patrons will remind you of the classic character. Possibilities are good that you will get bitten by a gopher, or maybe it was the owners Shih Tzu??? We’ll never know for sure. No matter what experience you are looking for, this is a great little secret bar just East of the River market!

License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.

– Carl Spackler