The Zoo Bar

gfv 4:51 pm

1220 McGee, Kansas City, MO

I have no idea who the people are in the above photo, but that’s pretty much the entire bar. For me, the jury is still out on this one. I will say it’s the tiniest, filthiest dive I’ve ever seen, but there were next to no patrons the entire evening I was there, so it’s hard to say what the local flavor is like (my guess would be vomit and apathy with a hint of diesel fuel). The bartender was great, but for a cash bar, the prices were high. The bathroom was surprisingly nice after the general filth of the rest of the place, and had a nice big poster of Johnny Depp watching me pee (which made me nervous). Fortunately, out of pure boredom, I managed to get completely hammered anyway and had to GPS my way home (which is sad, because I knew exactly where I was. Sort of.)

Love,
LaToya

Caddy Shack

ike 4:12 pm

700 E 3rd St
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 421-4742

You will never meet the real Carl Spackler here, but several of the regular patrons will remind you of the classic character. Possibilities are good that you will get bitten by a gopher, or maybe it was the owners Shih Tzu??? We’ll never know for sure. No matter what experience you are looking for, this is a great little secret bar just East of the River market!



License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.

- Carl Spackler

Nara

gfv 7:46 pm

1617 Main Street
Kansas City, Mo.

Normally we wouldn’t review this because it’s primarily an upscale Japanese restaurant, but as it turns out, they have a cool bar area with live DJs (not those pesky dead ones). After 10 is reverse happy hour with great deals on appetizers and booze (including martinis). A great side note about this bar is that their matches turn toilet water BLUE. The perfect Bathroom match! (Don’t ask Ike how he knows this.)

Grinders

ike 6:22 pm

417 E 18th St
Kansas City, MO 64108
(816) 472-5454

Five star Cheese whiz Grinders, some of the best thin crust pizza in KC and PBR on tap at a reasonable price makes Grinders the best artery clogging, heart attacktastic binge night destination. Start or end the evening out here with great food surrounded by all the Art District misfits! Ahhh Weirdos!

CrossroadsKC.com

Czar Bar

ike 10:51 am

1531 Grand Blvd.
Kansas City, MO 64108
816.221.2244

This Martini bar gone rogue is KCDrinkers #1 escape bar to conveniently walk away from the Power and Light district. It has everything a cockeyed lush could want including bathrooms and a bar with both beer and liquor. Make sure to wear all black or they might point and laugh at you.

Peanut Downtown

gfv 3:15 pm

418 W 9th St.
Kansas City, Mo.

Dirty and dank, this place has all the charm of its Plaza counterpart, which is none. But the food is just as good, and it’s a little bigger (but not much). This crowd is eclectic covering the scene from overly paid white-collar preppy stuck-in-the-80s people to homeless guys cashing in their daily
collected change for a Hamms. Or PBR. Or Schlitz. In a can.

Club NV

gfv 7:52 pm

7th & McGee
Kansas City, Mo.

You’ll be NVious of your smarter friends who decided to go to Buzzard Beach if you attempt to take on the vacuous plasticity of this hip downtown night spot. Dark, full of annoying strobes and disco lights and that fake dry ice smoke, NV ships in a stock of beautiful people weekly. Bring your bank account.

John’s Big Deck

ike 12:22 pm

9th & Wyandotte
Kansas City, Mo.

This place rocks during the summer and is within staggering distanced of two famous KC restaurants, the Majestic Steakhouse and the Savoy. A really odd mix of people ends up at this place. Johnson County girls sitting at the first floor bar next to 100-year-old locals, hip-hop techno dance music with attendant freaks on the second floor next to rednecks finishing their pool league. The top floor is reserved for power drinkers who can mountain climb. Although it is fun to see the aforementioned JoCo socialites climb them in skirts and fall down them at last call. (Special thanks to Dave the Freak)

Drafters

ike 10:03 am

323 W. 8th, Kansas City, Mo.
816-472-4001

Just across the street from The Phoenix blues bar downtown, Drafters is a pretty nice bar with plenty of room, and, of course, a Golden Tee, a pool table and a dart board (electronic, not real). It’s not usually very crowded, and has a typical bar menu. In fact, we’ve dubbed this “Everybar” because it’s just…so…typical.

The Cashew

ike 9:28 am

2000 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, Mo.
816-221-5858

Oooh. At last. An over-priced snotty martini bar. KC just doesn’t have enough. The Cashew is the owners of the Peanut’s idea of upper class. Skip it and go across the street to Paddy O’Quigleys. However, if you’re there for lunch, it’s well worth it. The booze may be overpriced and the Johnson County import customers a bore, but the food (especially lunch) is great.