2013 Village West WineFest

ike 8:51 am

It was a miserable HOT Saturday. There was no wind, and no place to escape the heat at a water park, but that is not what made this wine fest terrible. Wine walk, food, fireworks, and a beer garden, what could be wrong with that???? I’ll tell you what! A whole shit ton of things went wrong! First, how about selling twice as many tickets that the event can support. Stand in a tent 15 people deep waiting to get a sip of wine, that was worth the 75 dollar ticket price. Cramming that many people into the event was very efficient, at draining the supplies, because there was no wine remaining after 7:30, and the food was cleaned out closer to 7:00 pm. The damn thing started at 6:00, and it was a very weak air conditioning system that kept the cattle pen of visitors in line over 30 minutes to get their magic bracelet and drink container.

Special thanks to 101 the Fox for the Promo Code that saved 20 bucks! Next year, I’ll spend the 55 bucks on wine and beer, shell out 20 for snacks, and drive up to the free parking at Schlitterbahn to enjoy the fireworks!!!

So, if you like to be hot, hungry and sober, check it out next year. Maybe it will be cooler, and more people will show up!!!
-Ike

2013 Village West WineFest

W.J. McBride’s

gfv 2:19 pm

1340 Village West Pkwy (Legends Shopping Area)
Kansas City, Kan.
913-788-7771

This is an O’Dowds for Plaza-phobes. A little less character, and no chance of striking up convo with Tim Grunhard in the pisser. There is a patio in lieu of a deck, but the same tasty Irish concoctions at
emergency-ATM-run prices. Strong drinks create a fertile atmosphere for picking up Blue Valley divorcees, and the private booths will shelter your Guinness-numbed ass from further humiliation. Bring
friends. (special thanks to “g”)

Hooters

ike 12:12 pm

Coming soon to a strip mall near you.

If you’re a forty-plus male with random bills of demoninations over twenty falling out of your pockets, welcome aboard you sexy beast. If not, enjoy the dry but cheap chicken and average sized, if even that, breasts. Boobies are great for distracting you from things like personality, overpriced pitchers, gaudy flair and any real menu to speak of. But say what you will, the wings still kick ass. The Overland Park location is the best of the three, and come in the evening if you wanna see their A-game. For the most faux-flirt time, sit at the bar, and it helps to pretend you’re a producer or a photographer. How’s the beer? It’s did-you-see-that-ass-alicious. (special thanks to “g” for paragraph two)

Jayhawkers

ike 9:59 am

a.k.a. Texas Tom’s
a.k.a Downing’s Grill and Sports Bar

3916 Rainbow, Kansas City, Kan.
816-531-9004

Just across the street from KU Med Center, this used to be a Texas Tom’s, but then it was Downing’s, and now it’s a KU bar. After Downings, I have still refused to go check this place out. Which is sad. I can walk there from home, but I’d rather risk the DUI. Oh, um, there’s a really cheap lunch buffet, if you like such things.

Your Mom’s House

ike 1:26 pm

She broke out the Prince albums and started talking naughty. What can I say?

CASH ONLY.

Your Dad’s Trailer

ike 1:25 pm

He’s got the best damn feather boa collection I’ve ever seen. He also has Erasure remixes you can’t find ANYWHERE. He’s fabulous, and everyone loves his Queer Eye marathon parties. Bottomless Cosmopolitans for everyone!

CASH ONLY