Freddy T’s

gfv 2:39 pm

2111 E Crossroads Ln Olathe, KS 66062
(913) 780-3900

When I stumbled into Freddy T’s (after a late night of rehashing the making of Gone with the Wind and eating shelled peanuts that had been individually washed and scrubbed), it was packed. A mostly middle-aged crowd, slumped over their beer listening to a mediocre cover band, comprised the majority of the patrons. Freddy T’s is like a college bar for people who have been out of college for more than 20 years, yet they clearly don’t think we’re old enough to handle glassware, because the majority of drinks were served in plastic cups. Don’t, I REPEAT DON’T, order Guinness in a bottle. They have it, but YOU can’t have it. This post is dedicated to Selznick, Hecht and Fleming.

Love, LaToya*
*may contain peanuts

Scoreboards

gfv 1:24 pm

9596 Quivira
Lenexa, Kan.
913-492-5322

Now this bar was a pleasant surprise. Some friends opted to spend our Friday night bender here, and the name alone made me want to put a fork in my eye. It immediately summoned images of annoying JoCo snobs and an endless sea of pool tables. INSTEAD, Scoreboards is a nice, dark, somewhat divey bar with good food and big cheap beers. The wait staff was very attentive and tolerant of our drunken idiocy. There was karaoke the Friday we were there, and it was the good kind – fun drunk karaoke, none of this “serious wannabe the next country western
American Idol” crap.

Paddy O’Quigley’s

gfv 3:04 pm

11851 Roe Ave.
Leawood, Kan.

A frattish college bar for the Leawood privileged — annoying or righteous, depending on your personal B.A.C. and tolerance for squealing sorority hordes (much like your attitude toward karaoke). Make this your last stop and you’ll have a much better time. It’s one big open room with table space at a premium, but a good selection on tap. Johnny O’Quigley’s in the northland is a better overall bet, but it’s too far for your drunk ass to drive at this point. (special thanks to “g”)

Mickey’s Irish Pub

gfv 7:39 pm

9720 Quivira
Lenexa, Kan.

For having to put up with a bunch of people that look like (and have the mental capacity of) Barbie and Ken, this place wasn’t half bad. We had a birthday party there, got trashed, and threw peanuts all over the place, and they not only didn’t kick us out, they gave us a good deal on the total bill. There’s semi-outdoor pool tables and seating, indoor DJ (most memorable for the excellent alternative music played), and a full menu of food that’s only safe to eat if you have very low blood pressure, no cholesterol whatsoever and an excellent tolerance for MSG and other hardcore salt additives.

Lucky Brewgrille

gfv 7:34 pm

5401 Johnson Dr.
Mission, Kan.
913-403-8571

This is pretty much the Kansas City version of K-State’s top frat house bar. I know because I used to frequent the Manhattan location nightly. (write-up courtesy of
Eduardo C.)

The Keyhole

ike 1:13 pm

5902 Woodson Road
Mission, Kan.
913-262-9881

You’d never find it if someone didn’t drag you there, but once you’ve been, this little dive is easy to make a regular habit. Look for Courtney, the hot, fast-talking blonde bartender. She’s unstoppable. Extremely drunk attractive females are also common (no pun intended).

Johnny’s Tavern – SHAWNEE

ike 1:02 pm

13410 W 62nd Terr.
Shawnee, Kan.
913-962-5777

I slouched through the door into the dingy gray light. It was a typical dirty bar and grill, but not really that dirty ’cause it was in Shawnee. I ordered my usual pitcher of whiskey and sat at the bar to watch the ball game. A fat hooker lolled three chairs down on my right, just waiting for me to catch her eye. A few shady looking thugs played poker at a smoky table to my left. The sounds of children playing and laughing came from down near the pool ta…wait. What!? Kids? Families? What the f*ck is this, Chuck E. Cheese? Reality sets in. Although it has the potential to be a good dive with decent food, Johnny’s is one step away from Applebees. If you like other people’s brats having the run of the place late into the night, you’ll love it!

Johnny’s Tavern

ike 12:49 pm

6765 West 119th Street
Overland Park, Kan.
913-451-4542

The closest thing south Overland Park has to a neighborhood dive. This place is average in every way, and is a nice change from its snooty neighbors, patrons included. Watch all the Sprint employees tuck their I.D.s into their pockets as they enter. (special thanks to “g”)

JJ’s Other Place

ike 12:19 pm

5436 Johnson Dr
Mission, KS.
913-722-9777

The bartender had beer stains down the front of his shirt. Soccer moms come here to slum it and get away from their brats for awhile. Ike’s dad or uncle or someone drank here, so that makes it cool. We likey. It’s got plenty of dart boards and the bathroom smelled nice.

Hooters

ike 12:12 pm

Coming soon to a strip mall near you.

If you’re a forty-plus male with random bills of demoninations over twenty falling out of your pockets, welcome aboard you sexy beast. If not, enjoy the dry but cheap chicken and average sized, if even that, breasts. Boobies are great for distracting you from things like personality, overpriced pitchers, gaudy flair and any real menu to speak of. But say what you will, the wings still kick ass. The Overland Park location is the best of the three, and come in the evening if you wanna see their A-game. For the most faux-flirt time, sit at the bar, and it helps to pretend you’re a producer or a photographer. How’s the beer? It’s did-you-see-that-ass-alicious. (special thanks to “g” for paragraph two)