Tomfooleries Restaurant & Bar

gfv 1:28 pm

12 West 47th Street
Kansas City, Mo.

This Plaza restaurant BARELY counts as a bar, but it’s one of the least obnoxious things on the plaza, and the food is pretty good. Unfortunately, if you order something and specify “no fruit,” your waiter might not come back. Try the fried pickles. Yeah, fried pickles!

The Peanut

gfv 3:14 pm

5000 Main Street
Kansas City, Mo.

Located close to UMKC and the Country Club Plaza, this Peanut has a hoppin’ happy hour as well as a healthy late-night crowd. But this place is TINY, so seating can be hard to come by. Someone else has always bought my drinks here, so yeah, I guess it’s pretty cheap we are also allowed to use the vape pen inside. If you don’t try the wings or the Rueben, you don’t know what you’re missing.

O’Dowd’s Little Dublin

gfv 3:02 pm

4742 Pennsylvania Ave.
Kansas City, Mo.

Step in here and you are in Ireland! Except for the fat American talking about mutual funds and stuffing his face at the next booth. Great atmosphere, a truly inspiring location in which to drink. Very cool outside roof deck with a great view of the Plaza. Live music, and incredible Irish-type food to help sober you up later (except they took away the beef crostini. Why? WHY??).

McCormick & Schmick

gfv 7:35 pm

448 W. 47th St.
Kansas City, Mo.

Yes, it’s a swanky seafood restaurant, but it has a surprisingly affordable happy hour featuring a $1.95 menu to accompany hand-shaken cocktails or a selection from an extensive list of premium wines and beer. Warning: The bar area is mobbed during happy hour with “good old boy” clubs. The good news is these old guys can drink. The bad news is the conversation is really boring and you might get your ass pinched. For dinner or lunch, you won’t find better seafood in Kansas City.

Grand Street Café

ike 12:01 pm

4740 Grand Ave., Kansas City, Mo.

My vote for best martini in Kansas City goes to the Grand Street Café First of all, you get a LOT of martini. Second, they make it the way you tell them. Third, they use chilled stainless steel martini glasses. Frostburn, baby!

The Granfalloon Bar & Grill

ike 11:39 am

608 Ward Parkway Kansas City, Mo.

Plaza bar. The less said, the better. Nice place, awful people.

Your Mom’s House

ike 1:26 pm

She broke out the Prince albums and started talking naughty. What can I say?


Your Dad’s Trailer

ike 1:25 pm

He’s got the best damn feather boa collection I’ve ever seen. He also has Erasure remixes you can’t find ANYWHERE. He’s fabulous, and everyone loves his Queer Eye marathon parties. Bottomless Cosmopolitans for everyone!