2013 Village West WineFest

ike 8:51 am

It was a miserable HOT Saturday. There was no wind, and no place to escape the heat at a water park, but that is not what made this wine fest terrible. Wine walk, food, fireworks, and a beer garden, what could be wrong with that???? I’ll tell you what! A whole shit ton of things went wrong! First, how about selling twice as many tickets that the event can support. Stand in a tent 15 people deep waiting to get a sip of wine, that was worth the 75 dollar ticket price. Cramming that many people into the event was very efficient, at draining the supplies, because there was no wine remaining after 7:30, and the food was cleaned out closer to 7:00 pm. The damn thing started at 6:00, and it was a very weak air conditioning system that kept the cattle pen of visitors in line over 30 minutes to get their magic bracelet and drink container.

Special thanks to 101 the Fox for the Promo Code that saved 20 bucks! Next year, I’ll spend the 55 bucks on wine and beer, shell out 20 for snacks, and drive up to the free parking at Schlitterbahn to enjoy the fireworks!!!

So, if you like to be hot, hungry and sober, check it out next year. Maybe it will be cooler, and more people will show up!!!
-Ike

2013 Village West WineFest

Freddy T’s

gfv 2:39 pm

2111 E Crossroads Ln Olathe, KS 66062
(913) 780-3900

When I stumbled into Freddy T’s (after a late night of rehashing the making of Gone with the Wind and eating shelled peanuts that had been individually washed and scrubbed), it was packed. A mostly middle-aged crowd, slumped over their beer listening to a mediocre cover band, comprised the majority of the patrons. Freddy T’s is like a college bar for people who have been out of college for more than 20 years, yet they clearly don’t think we’re old enough to handle glassware, because the majority of drinks were served in plastic cups. Don’t, I REPEAT DON’T, order Guinness in a bottle. They have it, but YOU can’t have it. This post is dedicated to Selznick, Hecht and Fleming.

Love, LaToya*
*may contain peanuts

Atlas Saloon

gfv 2:37 pm

Downtown Excelsior Springs, MO

Who knew that you could walk around the corner from Paradise Playhouse and the Hall of Waters and right into a little slice of dive bar heaven?? This gem is unfortunately located in Excelsior “Where the Hell is that?” Springs, but is one of the coolest old dives I’ve seen in awhile. Replete with a former Buzzard Beach regular bouncing, and fashion ranging from modern trailer park to Deliverance, Atlas is a teeming mess…I mean MASS…of humanity. The only problem I had with it was the thimble-sized plastic shot glasses. I feel grown up enough to do a full-sized shot. Oh, and the seriously racist owner – get a few in that guy and he’ll take you back to a simpler time. In the deep south. When people owned slaves. Yikes.

Dirk’s Sports Bar and Grill

ike 10:34 pm

UPDATE!!!!
8132 Northwest Prairie View Road
Kansas City, Missouri 64151
Phone: (816) 587-3646

One of my favorite Northland dive bars have started using training wheel shot glasses. Shot glass looks normal, feels normal, but after you take a drink, you’ll see and feel the lip inside that takes up a severe amount of volume. I am talking a half shot at best if it is filled to capacity!! NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Dirks? More like JIRKS.

As always send complaints to LaToya!

Thanks,
Ike

Goodfella’s Bar and Grill

gfv 3:53 pm

1016 N Scott Ave.
Belton, Mo.

I haven’t been here (when I lived in Belton there was … nothing). But a reader was kind enough to let us know it’s there, so visit their Web site for more information!

Love, LaToya*
*for indoor use only

Patrick’s Bar and No Grill

ike 6:35 pm

8251 wornall
Kc, MO

Great Waldo hideaway! Friendly locals – it’s almost like not being in KC. Great prices, free food numberswiki.com

once in awhile, and nine TVs for sports! Owner is always on site and a pleasant gent.

White Castle Sliders!!!

Touché

gfv 2:17 pm

6820 W 105th St, Overland Park, KS

It is no accident that this club’s name is one letter away from “douche” and rhymes with “toupee.” Also known as the Midlife Crisis Institute, this place was always famed as a pickup joint for desperate 50 somethings. So imagine my shock when I went there on a random Saturday evening to enjoy a nice stiff Manhattan served with a side of snide comments and laughter at the expense of fashion-impaired cougars and Hair Club for Men clients – and instead I saw a room packed with hip kids in their 20s (along with remnants of the 40-65 crowd). Guess it’s changed a little. The place is darker than Fred Phelps’ soul so as to make the pickup process smoother and more disastrous in the light of day the next morning. However, it’s really kind of swanky in a tacky way, and the drinks are excellent.

Your friend,
LaToya*
*may contain peanuts

The Well

gfv 11:46 am

Waldo, next to Waldo Pizza (I’m hungover and I can’t find the exact address right now)

This brand new Waldo bar seemingly sprang up overnight. It may be my new favorite bar. Awesome outdoor upstairs deck with umbrellas, ample, open seating downstairs, and a small back deck if you just have to smoke and the upstairs is packed. Is it a sports bar? Yes. Is it a martini bar? If that’s what you want. Is it a good place to eat? Yep. Whether it’s PBR or fine wine, sports or picking up designer-label-wearing pumas you’re in the mood for, this joint has it. Clientele range from 21-71. I’m going to use my giant vocabulary now to sum it up: This place KICKS ASS.

Peace,
LaToya*
*not recommended for children under 3

Lake House Pub

gfv 10:54 am

27909 E. Colbern Rd
Lees Summit, MO 64086

How I ended up way the hell out here I don’t know, but I’m glad I did. What do you get when you combine a bunch of bikers with a jewelry convention? Lake House Pub! This “biker” bar really has something for everyone. Fun, games, fear and loathing, not to mention they introduced me to my new favorite Jager concoction, the Jager Barrel. It’s all a little hazy after that, but I do remember live music, darts and smoking like it was my second full-time job (because you can actually smoke in there, praise Jesus).

Love,
LaToya*
*may cause eye and skin irritation

Caddy Shack

ike 4:12 pm

700 E 3rd St
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 421-4742

You will never meet the real Carl Spackler here, but several of the regular patrons will remind you of the classic character. Possibilities are good that you will get bitten by a gopher, or maybe it was the owners Shih Tzu??? We’ll never know for sure. No matter what experience you are looking for, this is a great little secret bar just East of the River market!



License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.

- Carl Spackler