Lucky Brewgrille

gfv 7:34 pm

5401 Johnson Dr.
Mission, Kan.
913-403-8571

This is pretty much the Kansas City version of K-State’s top frat house bar. I know because I used to frequent the Manhattan location nightly. (write-up courtesy of
Eduardo C.)

The Keyhole

ike 1:13 pm

5902 Woodson Road
Mission, Kan.
913-262-9881

You’d never find it if someone didn’t drag you there, but once you’ve been, this little dive is easy to make a regular habit. Look for Courtney, the hot, fast-talking blonde bartender. She’s unstoppable. Extremely drunk attractive females are also common (no pun intended).

JJ’s Other Place

ike 12:19 pm

5436 Johnson Dr
Mission, KS.
913-722-9777

The bartender had beer stains down the front of his shirt. Soccer moms come here to slum it and get away from their brats for awhile. Ike’s dad or uncle or someone drank here, so that makes it cool. We likey. It’s got plenty of dart boards and the bathroom smelled nice.

Hooters

ike 12:12 pm

Coming soon to a strip mall near you.

If you’re a forty-plus male with random bills of demoninations over twenty falling out of your pockets, welcome aboard you sexy beast. If not, enjoy the dry but cheap chicken and average sized, if even that, breasts. Boobies are great for distracting you from things like personality, overpriced pitchers, gaudy flair and any real menu to speak of. But say what you will, the wings still kick ass. The Overland Park location is the best of the three, and come in the evening if you wanna see their A-game. For the most faux-flirt time, sit at the bar, and it helps to pretend you’re a producer or a photographer. How’s the beer? It’s did-you-see-that-ass-alicious. (special thanks to “g” for paragraph two)

Your Mom’s House

ike 1:26 pm

She broke out the Prince albums and started talking naughty. What can I say?

CASH ONLY.

Your Dad’s Trailer

ike 1:25 pm

He’s got the best damn feather boa collection I’ve ever seen. He also has Erasure remixes you can’t find ANYWHERE. He’s fabulous, and everyone loves his Queer Eye marathon parties. Bottomless Cosmopolitans for everyone!

CASH ONLY