Gift Cards – What is wrong with people?

ike 7:00 pm

FUCK Gift Cards!!!

Why do I need to be forced to a place you think I would love the merchandise when you couldn’t even find a single damn thing there to get me?

Why do I want to go to a Bookstore and fight inconsiderate snobs and angry uncontrolled children to get a book I can get online for nickles on the dollar (Pennies are gone soon, accept it)?

To date, no one has given me a card to a vegan restaurant, but I guess I am due. I have recieved several cards to places I love to eat at: 5 Guys, Dickie’s, Hell even Quik trip! But why force me to some place you think is the culinary equivalent to Chopped or Triple D?

So what is left you ask? Maybe you can get me a Walmart, Target, Visa or any other general cash card?!?!?!? Sure, way better than forcing me to go eat at Fish Burger (which I love. . .  LJS Props) The companies you buy gift cards from, gain BILLIONS in free profits each year! Cards are lost, forgotten, or eventually expire and are worth nothing except to the companies gaining interest on the never to be spent gift of love!

Here is a crazy idea! Give that person you cannot figure out what to buy. . .  CA$H!!!! Don’t be lame, make an effort! If you are willing to give them $25.00 on a card, give them $50.00 maybe? At least spend the time you would take getting them an unneeded “free corporate cash card” to deliver the present in $2.00 dollar bills, a crisp colorful note newly issued from a U.S. Mint, or a damn sack of Sacajawea’s!

I use my $25.00 bag of Sacajawea’s as a defense tool! Everyone loves multipurpose gifts!

-Ike

 

2013 Chiefs vs. Cowboys with Slacker from 101 the FOX

ike 6:38 pm

 

Tailgating with a promising Drunk of the Month, Slacker from 101 the FOX. He pulled up in his Fox cart, and starting demanding booze. I can respect that!

20130915_SlackerChiefs

2013 Village West WineFest

ike 8:51 am

It was a miserable HOT Saturday. There was no wind, and no place to escape the heat at a water park, but that is not what made this wine fest terrible. Wine walk, food, fireworks, and a beer garden, what could be wrong with that???? I’ll tell you what! A whole shit ton of things went wrong! First, how about selling twice as many tickets that the event can support. Stand in a tent 15 people deep waiting to get a sip of wine, that was worth the 75 dollar ticket price. Cramming that many people into the event was very efficient, at draining the supplies, because there was no wine remaining after 7:30, and the food was cleaned out closer to 7:00 pm. The damn thing started at 6:00, and it was a very weak air conditioning system that kept the cattle pen of visitors in line over 30 minutes to get their magic bracelet and drink container.

Special thanks to 101 the Fox for the Promo Code that saved 20 bucks! Next year, I’ll spend the 55 bucks on wine and beer, shell out 20 for snacks, and drive up to the free parking at Schlitterbahn to enjoy the fireworks!!!

So, if you like to be hot, hungry and sober, check it out next year. Maybe it will be cooler, and more people will show up!!!
-Ike

2013 Village West WineFest

Freddy T’s

gfv 2:39 pm

2111 E Crossroads Ln Olathe, KS 66062
(913) 780-3900

When I stumbled into Freddy T’s (after a late night of rehashing the making of Gone with the Wind and eating shelled peanuts that had been individually washed and scrubbed), it was packed. A mostly middle-aged crowd, slumped over their beer listening to a mediocre cover band, comprised the majority of the patrons. Freddy T’s is like a college bar for people who have been out of college for more than 20 years, yet they clearly don’t think we’re old enough to handle glassware, because the majority of drinks were served in plastic cups. Don’t, I REPEAT DON’T, order Guinness in a bottle. They have it, but YOU can’t have it. This post is dedicated to Selznick, Hecht and Fleming.

Love, LaToya*
*may contain peanuts

Atlas Saloon

gfv 2:37 pm

Downtown Excelsior Springs, MO

Who knew that you could walk around the corner from Paradise Playhouse and the Hall of Waters and right into a little slice of dive bar heaven?? This gem is unfortunately located in Excelsior “Where the Hell is that?” Springs, but is one of the coolest old dives I’ve seen in awhile. Replete with a former Buzzard Beach regular bouncing, and fashion ranging from modern trailer park to Deliverance, Atlas is a teeming mess…I mean MASS…of humanity. The only problem I had with it was the thimble-sized plastic shot glasses. I feel grown up enough to do a full-sized shot. Oh, and the seriously racist owner – get a few in that guy and he’ll take you back to a simpler time. In the deep south. When people owned slaves. Yikes.

Dirk’s Sports Bar and Grill

ike 10:34 pm

UPDATE!!!!
8132 Northwest Prairie View Road
Kansas City, Missouri 64151
Phone: (816) 587-3646

One of my favorite Northland dive bars have started using training wheel shot glasses. Shot glass looks normal, feels normal, but after you take a drink, you’ll see and feel the lip inside that takes up a severe amount of volume. I am talking a half shot at best if it is filled to capacity!! NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Dirks? More like JIRKS.

As always send complaints to LaToya!

Thanks,
Ike

The Perfect Mate

gfv 6:05 pm

A real man …. is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions, and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she’s the prettiest girl in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…no, wait…sorry. I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that.

Love,
LaToya*
*do not expose to bright light

Goodfella’s Bar and Grill

gfv 3:53 pm

1016 N Scott Ave.
Belton, Mo.

I haven’t been here (when I lived in Belton there was … nothing). But a reader was kind enough to let us know it’s there, so visit their Web site for more information!

Love, LaToya*
*for indoor use only

Patrick’s Bar and No Grill

ike 6:35 pm

8251 wornall
Kc, MO

Great Waldo hideaway! Friendly locals – it’s almost like not being in KC. Great prices, free food numberswiki.com

once in awhile, and nine TVs for sports! Owner is always on site and a pleasant gent.

White Castle Sliders!!!

Touché

gfv 2:17 pm

6820 W 105th St, Overland Park, KS

It is no accident that this club’s name is one letter away from “douche” and rhymes with “toupee.” Also known as the Midlife Crisis Institute, this place was always famed as a pickup joint for desperate 50 somethings. So imagine my shock when I went there on a random Saturday evening to enjoy a nice stiff Manhattan served with a side of snide comments and laughter at the expense of fashion-impaired cougars and Hair Club for Men clients – and instead I saw a room packed with hip kids in their 20s (along with remnants of the 40-65 crowd). Guess it’s changed a little. The place is darker than Fred Phelps’ soul so as to make the pickup process smoother and more disastrous in the light of day the next morning. However, it’s really kind of swanky in a tacky way, and the drinks are excellent.

Your friend,
LaToya*
*may contain peanuts